January 17

Passion to Share: Worries about Women in Abu Dhabi

Presenter – Joan Heiman

I did not seek to upend my life. On the contrary, in pragmatic pursuit of a solution to a financial crisis, I thought I’d found a way to make life easier. A job teaching at a women’s college in Abu Dhabi promised quick financial relief from the debt and disaster my husband and I had gotten ourselves into. Instead of relief, however, I stumbled into a situation that felt like a personal apocalypse.

In January 2009, my husband and I left Denver, Colorado, for the Middle East. Having traveled and worked abroad before, we assumed we’d know how to do this. Instead, within days, the new cultural experience we’d sought alongside financial relief had knocked us sideways. We were not nearly as intrepid nor as worldly-wise as we’d imagined. Slowly, however, (but not fast enough), we learned that our resistance was causing more unhappiness than the place or its people. We needed to accept what we did not like. Expectations had to go. Control had to be surrendered. One of my great challenges was dealing with what I perceived as the oppression of women. Teaching at a women’s college brought me into daily contact with the struggles and conflicts my female students faced, dealt with, and, for the most part, accepted. Ultimately, I found relief in curiosity and humor. Over time, connection grew with compassion. Obstacles became opportunities. It was even possible to live in harmony with others who held widely different cultural and religious worldviews. It’s taken years of writing and reflecting, absorbing and assimilating to arrive at a deeper understanding of the gifts the three years in Abu Dhabi offered me. (Psst … there’s a book coming soon.) In the current and continuing atmosphere of conflict between the West and the Middle East, I am grateful to have lived so intimately with Islamic women. Yes, we are radically different. At the same time, however, longings for respect and freedom are shared by women the world over. Through sharing a few of my personal experiences, I offer you an insider’s glimpse into the complexity and richness of these differences and commonalities.